Achievable Goals

The key to happiness is setting achievable goals. For example, I think a bad goal is trying to find enlightenment, or becoming one with the universe. That has hard work written all over it. I was thinking about this recently because of the story in the news about the 35-year old woman who stayed in her bathroom until her skin fused with the molecules in the toilet seat.

http://edition.cnn.com/2008/US/03/13/woman.in.bathroom.ap/index.html

While it might be hard to become one with the universe, apparently it is easier to become one with your own toilet. All you need is a boyfriend who is willing to slip pizzas under the door.

While we’re on the topic of the boyfriend, I also think he did a good job of setting his goals low in terms of girlfriends. If you’ve ever had a high maintenance relationship, I think you can appreciate the subtle beauty of his arrangement. This fellow found a girlfriend who never complained. Can you top that?

I see this woman as a pioneer in the evolution of humankind. Her life might sound boring to you, but imagine if she had a laptop in there, with a wireless Internet connection. Suddenly a bad idea starts to look rather brilliant. For most of us, moving from place to place is usually about seeking food, bathroom breaks, employment, conversation, sexual stimulation, and returning to the computer. That’s a lot of time wasted moving around. A laptop and a toilet can satisfy all of those needs. You can even order food online. I’m not ready to make that sort of commitment yet myself, but I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t give it some serious thought.

Comments

[Patrick Hothersall]

I wonder if the University of Chicago Business school is getting many hits with that banner add to the right of this story.

[Jess]

Jess, that would probably work but according to my interpretation of the Ruby equation there's a conflict.

[topaztic]

sad world we live in. i wonder why no one else noticed that she was in that bathroom? family? friends? neighbors?

i heard that the b/f was going to be charged - though i wasn't aware that stupidity was a crime.

if only.

[Dave K.]

Set easy goals? No! The best way to feel good is to set goals that have already been accomplished.

[The Chief]

Think about what this wacko is doing to the families of people who disappear. Now they will go on forever, always thinking "she could just be sitting on a toilet seat somewhere..."

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[Shashwat]

Didn't Dogbert once say something like, "The secret to happiness in high expectations and a bag of chips".

[travors]

Well see, a cow hasn't been peeled.
When I see a slab of uncooked steak in the butcher window it does make me salivate in much the same was as an unwashed and peeled potato wouldn't make me salivate but if you clean and chop it and make it into a potato wedge it will get my juices flowing.

[JT]

I scoured our office and several others for Dilbert comics and drew bix red Xs through them with a chisel tip Sharpie. I am also organizing a Dilbert/Scott Adams book burning event in our neighborhood along with a Scott Adams voodoo doll contest, several burnings of your effige, and I am leading a petition drive aimed at imploring Barack Obama to give a speech denouncing this blog post. Shouldn't have made fun...

Sincerely,
Humorless A-Hole

[G]

Bet David Blane's well PO'd that someone beat him to it.

Whatever happened to him? Are the still trying to get the wrinkles out of his fingers and toes?

[No one]

To all those wondering how the man used the toilet it's quite simple: His trailer had two. Try reading the article.

[sam]

[For most of us, the main 'goal' in our life is our relationship with those close to us, spouse and children. But when can you say "that's it, I've achieved the goal of loving this person"? That is one of the reasons divorce rates are so high, the Goal starts with sex, once that's been had, it's marriage, then what? kids, house, eventually it's all achieved, so there is nothing more to do. If the Goal becomes loving the person properly, it will never be achieved, but the journey towards that goal is called a relationship.]

Tenelus - that's one of the most emotionally intelligent things I've read in a loooong time :) Thanks

[Rufus T Firefly]

"Ha-ha, really funny. Making fun of an obviously sick person. Whatever gives you the right to do that?
Your books and comics are going into the trash can.
Empathy doesn't really score high with you, does it?
Posted by: Jens | March 18, 2008 at 12:20 AM"

What gives him the right? The same right that lets you complain about his insensitivity.

And as for discarding his books, etc: considering he already got his money from you, how exactly will this impact him?

Think of it in a more positive way: your money may be gone, but you'll always have your self-righteous indignation.

[Detton]

(Quote)
Care to explain how one would obtain sexual stimulation on the toilet? -

... You really don't want that explained. You really, really don't.

There was this guy once, see, he was caught in an outhouse... hiding IN an outhouse... waiting for women to...

I'd rather not go into the details, but I think i've 'explained' enough to make you regret your request ;)

(Sexual stimulation to SOMEONE, not necessarily everyone)

[Paul White]

I loved the comments that indicted the boyfriend for being lazy. Hey folks, the boyfriend wasn't the one who sat on a toilet all day. He was the only one in the house who was working, cooking, cleaning, etc. He was taking full-time care of a grown, clearly unstable woman while holding down a full-time job. Granted, he obviously didn't do a particularly good job at the former. Out of his element? Yes. Of questionable intelligence? Sure. But lazy? I don't see it.

[Rick]

I'm confused - how did the boyfriend manage to go to the toilet in the two years she was sat on it? Did he have to remember to go before he left work? Or did he pop in to use the neighbours bathroom? Perhaps he had a bucket under the bed that he emptied in a public restroom daily?

[Bee4]

Take a look at this on the Darwin Awards website, someone with the same idea (but less hygiene):

http://darwinawards.com/slush/200801/pending20080121-061516.html

[Frank]

Just because a woman is fused with a toilet doesn't mean she won't complain. I bet the poor guy had to listen to sentences as "This seat doesn't match the redness of my butt!" and "Does this toilet make me look fat?" quit a lot.

[Tenelus]

I wish I didn't always have to pretend I was smart and argue with you, but I'm going to anyway...

The point of life is not the achieving of self set goals. If you achieve a goal, you will only have a brief period of satisfaction followed by the complete downer of knowing that there are plenty of other goals. There is joy in the journey towards your goals, knowing that you are working towards something better. For most of us, the main 'goal' in our life is our relationship with those close to us, spouse and children. But when can you say "that's it, I've achieved the goal of loving this person"? That is one of the reasons divorce rates are so high, the Goal starts with sex, once that's been had, it's marriage, then what? kids, house, eventually it's all achieved, so there is nothing more to do. If the Goal becomes loving the person properly, it will never be achieved, but the journey towards that goal is called a relationship.

I don't want to preach, but often people mistake the Christian view of God to make him some evil dictator setting a bar that cannot be reached. If instead, you see God as the ultimate Goal, the proper end of the human person, it starts to make a bit more sense, and the struggles that define humanity seem more just.

tenelus@gmail.com

[Johno]

Suddenly I don't feel so bad about my failure to do anything more with my life than teach schoolkids for 10 years . . :)

[Tim C]

Dear Mr Adams,
This is not for publication without 'cuts'.
There is another reason why you find it difficult to introduce a mohammedan character into Dilbert; it is not a religion, so much as a political ideology. Spirituality is a small part of that faith, whereas the body of law is immense. There are many schisms, and no human authority.
My brother, a writer, explained this to me; I then googled it.
Circa 1990/1991, after the Berlin Wall fell, my bro & I analysed who would be the next villains in a post-communist world. The conclusion was i) the mossies, then ii) the Chinese.
In real life, you perhaps affirm your beliefs by serving alcohol
and pork (?) in your restaurant.

[Carlo]

She was stuck to the toiletseat. Does anyone wonder with me how HE used the toilet? Should have been a intimate experience.....

[Luke]

Why don't you do it as a sort of publicity stunt. Try to spend 6 months in your bathroom with your laptop. You can have visitors but you can never leave. You can record your daily memories on this blog.

http://thisdevilsworkday.wordpress.com/

[Simian God]

I know you don't really need encouragement because you do pretty much what you want anyway, but I just want to say: U GO GIRL. My blog is named in your honor.

[Jens]

Ha-ha, really funny. Making fun of an obviously sick person. Whatever gives you the right to do that?
Your books and comics are going into the trash can.
Empathy doesn't really score high with you, does it?