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This type of movie review would have been quite useful were I a moviegoer. Truth be said, in the last fifteen years, I have been to the movies about five times. This not counting Cremaster, which would make ten, altogether. You'd be surprised how much aggrevation this has saved me, let alone time and money.


I must say that the type of movie rating you suggest would have been quite useful, were I a moviegoer. Truth be said, in the last fifteen yers I have been to about five movies. Well, not counting Cremaster that is, which would make it ten altogether. You'd be surprised how much aggrevation this saves me, let alone time and money.

"As a rule, the quality of a movie is inversely correlated with how long it takes to explain the entire plot."... Beautiful statement.


Probably watch no country for old me, thats how i felt after watching the movie pissed and wanted my dollar back for the rental. Not sure how it won so many oscars.


There's a really good book called "Animals in Translation" by Temple Grandin, who has a PhD, designs slaughterhouses, and happens to be autistic. Anyways, she talks about keeping things simple by ranking things with as few metrics as possible... for example, some government agency had pages upon pages of checklists for keeping things "humane" at the slaughterhouses, but she got the metrics down to... oh, I forget... but it was something like seven. You pass the seven tests, and you have a sane slaughter house.

What I'm getting at is that you've got a lot of metrics there.

So, ever since I read that book, I try to rate things with as few metrics as possible. For example, I've got my movie questions down to two. This is what I want to know about a movie review from a friend:

(1) On a scale of 1 to 10, how much did you enjoy the movie?

(2) Off the top of your head, tell me 3-10 movies you really enjoyed.

If my friend likes movies I liked, I'll probably have the same "enjoyment" experience.

If my friend likes way different movies, I ignore the ranking and ask another friend.

I got the idea from and Netflix.

Fabio FZero

This is not really related to this post, but I thought it would be nice to let you know that EVERYBODY absolutely hates the new Dilbert site. If there's anyone that can do anything to go back to the old layout - or to a new one that makes any sense - that is you. Please do something. Your readers will thank you.


Oh Dear! this is why american movies are usually so boring. They cater for an audience like you. Why does everything have to be so cut and dried??!! going to the movies is an adventure.
That said you must be getting your reviews from a dodgy source. try this website for peer reviews.
Or check out this website from an Australian movie review TV program. David and Margaret are probably considered the best movie critics in Oz.
But remember it is Australian so they may not have all the latest US releases!!
One thing I do agree on is the mumbling rating tho.. Brokeback Mountain would score 100... out of 10


I wanted to make an intelligent sort of comment, maybe discussing the very valid point that an actor's "Star Power" can save an otherwise lame movie. Or maybe discuss whether art should be distilled down in a fast food menu of its qualities.

But instead, I will opt for...

Awww poor diddums, did the nasty Old Country for Old Men scare you? Aawww, bless.


Here are some answers to your questions. You guys need to look at the food section first. Start putting people onto it. Get passionate.


When you're old enough -- a different age for everyone -- it becomes clear what is and is not important enough to worry about, if only because you realize that you don't have enough living-time left to waste on the unimportant stuff -- different stuff for everyone. Most movies have entered that "Unimportant" category for me. Most are crap, so take a nap instead.


I would like to suggest *not* watching Juno, just to counterbalance someone else's suggesting you should.


Best. Idea. Ever.

Your movie reviewing system is brilliant! I would wholeheartedly support the implementation of a review system like that.


Yeah i had the same experiance with the movie... It was just confusing and didn't really make any sense. I mean to win the most oscars i expected a lot more.


Yeah i ad the same experiance with the movie... It was just confusing and didn't really make any sense. I mean to win the most oscars i expected a lot more.

Yan Carlomagno

Hey Scott, check out what happened with a priest here in my state down south of Brazil. Apparently he tied himself to a bunch of party balloons in order to "fly" from the south thousands of miles up to a northern state in the country. He ended up heading the other way towards the sea and is now missing! How stupid/crazy can that be? lol,0,7662330.story

look for "priest balloons Brazil" at google and you´ll find more news about the case in different sources than LA Times

I´ve heard he did it successfully once and got all the way to Argentina. But this time his last words before departing was "can anyone teach me how to use a GPS?".
I guess he took the words "in God´s hands" too seriously! lol

Congrats for the greatest blog on the web!


Thank you, bitguru - I was scratching my head after reading Scott's inverted logic :-).
bitguru wrote:

"As a rule, the quality of a movie is inversely correlated with how long it takes to explain the entire plot. That’s why I stay away from movies with titles like Volcano, Inferno, Titanic, and Snakes on a Plane."

If they are inversely correlated, then I would think you would _want_ to see Volcano, Inferno, etc. Perhaps you meant to say they are directly correlated??


hahaha i like going to boring movies with a date. usually neither of us watch much of the **ahem** movie

Hate the new site

The new site is crappy and clunky.

Most importantly I don't like the strip in color on regular days. Especially the new bright ones.

Save it for Sundays. It also provides nice change of pace.
Come monday Dilbert has to be Black an white.


Yes. A nudity/boobie factor. Not just for perverts, but also for prevents....I still have a desire to scrub my eyeballs after Kathy Bates shocker in About Schmidt.

Also, I saw Little Miss Sunshine over the weekend. What a dissappointing rental.


Did anyone else find it disturbing that the grandfather was teaching the little girl to strip tease? Peddie?


Piss-pants: now redirects to too! A web site with the audacity to show you a 1/10 of a second flash of a cartoon, then spend half an hour loading adverts until it really shows you the cartoon!


Possible category: Likelihood of reviewers using the words "quirky" or "indie" to describe either the movie in general or the female lead. I know I'm not going to enjoy anything approaching 10. Could possibly be expanded to a larger Aggravation category covering the presence of child actors, flaky Manhattanites, Jar Jar Binks, et cetera.

(Full disclosure: the last two things Netflix sent me were a Czech documentary on male prostitution and a three-hour-long religious parable filmed in Swedish by a Soviet director, so my taste in entertainment is pretty demented by most people's standards.)

Matt M.

Try putting this into an algorithm and submitting it for the Netflix 10% better movie recommendation challenge.


I agree but the star power is dicey. I just saw THE assignation of jesse james starring brad pitt, with ridley scott involved, brad gray, three hollywood studs. Seriously, I feel like writing someone to get my $2 back, it was that bad.


Sheesh, I guess some people want all movies to have fairytale, happy endings.

Not all surprises feel good.


Scott: I was right there with you until you claim to have the right to know in advance that you will understand the movie. You may have the right to remain silent, but where do you get off claiming a right to know what you will understand BEFORE you purchase?

How would you do this? Maybe you can have different levels of reviewers, separated by IQ levels, say whether they undertood it or not, and then compare yourself to them. Since you would not believe them anyway, there would be no point to the exercise.

So, there you go. You can't take all the risk out of life, investments, or Hollywood. Just get some milk duds and enjoy what you can.


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